It was confirmed today that the biggest and twattiest twat you know will be the last person wearing a mask, long after everyone else has accepted that the Covid pandemic is over. ‘As the disease moves from the ‘genuinely dangerous’ stage to the ‘virtue signalling’ stage, we can expect a lot of twattish behaviour from people trying to demonstrate how seriously they still take it,” said a spokesman from the Institute of Stuff today.

‘And quite naturally, the most twattish people will keep it up for the longest/ For many of you, it will be someone you work with. Quite possibly the person who labels all their food in the communal fridge, and insists different spoons are used for coffee and tea. Early indications are he may be called Bryan or Graeme, but only with those spellings.’

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