May raises stakes further by expelling Jeremy Corbyn|Humor

Theresa May intensified pressure on the Kremlin today by expelling their top agent, Jheremyovich Corbyn, from the UK. Following on from the expulsion of 23 Russian diplomats, and in anticipation of tit-for-tat expulsions by the Kremlin, Corbyn has been given 1 week to pack his bags and head back to the Motherland, so he can […]

Festivals to ban ‘double denim’|Humor

The wearing of double denim at music gigs and festivals is to be banned from the 1st of June, announced music promoters today.  As the popularity of Americana and country-based music continues to grow in the UK, the music industry says a line needs to be drawn in the sand before things really get out […]

Hillary Clinton Named Proper President of United States|Humor

Hillary Clinton Named Proper President of United States|Humor

Seems that last year, Newsweek magazine published an essay by Harvard Professor Lawrence Lessig. You gotta believe Harvard. It ain’t Trump University. Professor Lessig speculated, that if Robert Mueller found evidence of Russian interference in a conspiracy with Trump to affect the outcome of the 2016 election, Trump would have to resign, along with his […]

Britain on high alert after exposure to toxic Morgan-Davidson interview|Humor

There are growing fears of a major public health crisis after countless people were exposed to a highly toxic TV encounter between the two biggest tossers in Britain. The deadly ‘get on your nerves agent’ released when Piers Fr*gging Morgan interviewed Jim B*$ tard Davidson could poison many hundreds of vulnerable people, the government has […]

“Disabled parking space” to be new unit of measurement for BMW cars|Humor

The German car manufacturer has announced that the size of each of its models will henceforth be calibrated in DPS, or the number of disabled parking spaces needed to accommodate it. Sizes will range from from the compact 1-series which will be designed to fit exactly into one space, although the BMW badge will automatically […]

Deadly nerve agent found in Somerset|Humor

The nerve agent used to attack former Russian spy Sergi Skripal and his daughter may have links to a substance being developed in Somerset, revealed Home Secretary Amber Rudd today. An amber liquid found near the scene of the attack has now been traced back to the garden shed of Taunton taxi drivers Alf and Reg […]

Burger-flipping robot switched off after calling customers a bunch of ‘fat assholes’|Humor

Flippy the burger-flipping robot has been switched off after hurling a string of abuse at customers of the Cali Burger restaurant in Pasadena. It is understood that the trouble started after customers began to complain about the excessive wait for their burgers. ‘We’d been waiting an age for our burgers’, says burger-loving customer, Randy Johnson. […]

Trump thought he was agreeing to a date with Kim Kardashian|Humor

North Korean officials have declared their ‘honey trap’ a success, having lured President Trump with a bevy of attractive Kim’s, including Basinger, Cattrall and Philby. Chief among these is Kim Kardashian, who bears a startlingly resemblance to Kim Jong-un – both having large buttocks, filled-in eyebrows and a signature skin-tight pink latex cocktail dress. Through […]

EU freezes Brexit talks until Britain bring the biscuits|Humor

European Council president Donald Tusk has warned Theresa May that Brexit negotiations will be put on hold unless the UK brings some biscuits to the next meeting. Speaking in Dublin Tusk said that open discussion about trade and the Irish border question will not resume until the British negotiating team come to the table with […]

Researchers Studying Soccer Players’ Injury Recovery|Humor

Researchers Studying Soccer Players’ Injury Recovery|Humor

COLUMBUS, OH – Researchers at the Cleveland Clinic are studying soccer players around the world for their unique ability to recover quickly from injury. “Soccer players have a totally unique physiology in that when they get hurt, which happens a lot, they can recovery in a very short time, sometimes instantly” said lead researcher at […]

1 2 3 15