Dr Dre 'Struck Off' For Using Excessive Bad Language|Humor

Dr Dre 'Struck Off' For Using Excessive Bad Language|Humor

An ‘associate’ of Dr. Young earlier American rap star, record producer and medic Dr Dre has incurred the wrath of the US medical community and has been ‘struck off’ after senior members lost patience with his incessant and excessive bad language. Dre, real name Dr. Andre Young, was, this morning, informed by a panel of […]

First cuckoo of spring deported by Home Office|Humor

A keen birdspotter in a Hampshire village who claims to have heard the traditional first cuckoo in spring believes it may have been deported by the Home Office having been brought to their attention by local avian vigilantes. Fenella Johnson said that she was delighted to hear the easily recognised call of the annual spring immigrant […]

Packaging to be made more annoying|Humor

All packaging, though specifically the impenetrable plastic variety is to be made more f*cking annoying, the government has confirmed. In addition to enforcing triple the amount of cardboard for posted DVDs and police-grade ballistics testing on those bastard blister packs, included for the first time under the new legislation are tighter guidelines for tinned goods; […]

Trump and Kim Jong Un to Meet in Fiji IHOP|Humor

[unable to actually obtain full-text content]Mar-A-Lago, Fl It was actually announced in these days that the Organization and East Korea are performing out particulars for “Dotard” Defeat and Kim “Escalate Friend” Schattig Un to connect with. Being aware both Exceed and Kim are not about to miss any meals or snacks, and allowing for the […]

Middle class white student with dreadlocks held in detention centre|Humor

Parents of Tarquin Farquar-Smythe of Farnham have petitioned the Home Office after their son was arrested and detained at a detention centre for illegal immigrants. The 18 year old, dreadlocked, social studies undergraduate was arrested by police on suspicion of being an illegal Jafaican immigrant, after one officer heard him saying “arks” instead of “ask” to […]

Rump Dumped All Over My Golf Course Says Former Turdberry Owner|Humor

Rump Dumped All Over My Golf Course Says Former Turdberry Owner|Humor

Ayrshire, Scotland (Hole-In-One/Ass Mess) – The woman who sold Turdberry Golf Course to Donald T Rump has complained to Scotland’s Crap Sports Authority about curling stone-sized deposits festooning the putting green. The move comes after dozens of steaming 40lb lumps bearing official Royal Rump Golf insignia appeared overnight at the course’s legendary filth – eh, […]

Cambridge Analytica Behind Satan’s Election to CEO of Heaven|Humor

Cambridge Analytica Behind Satan’s Election to CEO of Heaven|Humor

HEAVEN—Cambridge Analytica has some big wins under its belt—Brexit, the election of Uhuru Kenyatta in Kenya, and Donald Trump in the Confederate States of America, but the company pulled off one of its biggest sells just last week, when it rigged an election voting in Satan as the new CEO of Heaven, replacing Jesus. Cambridge […]

WW3 Pencilled in for this weekend|Humor

Brits have been advised not to plan too many activities this weekend as World War Three is tentatively scheduled to break out at some stage. The Met Office issued a warning that WW3 is likely to bring considerably more disruption to travel than last month’s ‘Beast from the East.’ Even though it sounds bad, it’s […]

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