Kremlin denies plotting to destroy Britain’s infrastructure as Britain is doing that anyway|Humor

Claims by defence minister Gavin Williamson that the Russians have been studying British power networks and photographing power stations as part of plans to sabotage Britain’s infrastructure have been officially denied by the Kremlin. A senior official within the heart of the Russian government admitted that SMERSH had considered such a plan but has now […]

UK refuses to vote for anything ever again|Humor

A nation-wide survey has shown that the entire British electorate has finally learned its lesson and accepted that it really doesn’t know what’s best for itself. The survey found that 94% of people responded with “Put a cross in a box!? Again!? Are you fucking nuts!?” to the question of which way they would now […]

Oscar nomination for man pretending to wash hands after taking a leak|Humor

A Chelmsford man was celebrating today, after his realistic portrayal of someone washing their hands after taking a leak in a public urinal was rewarded with a best actor nomination at the Oscars. Peter Jones, 46, is thought to have spent years perfecting his technique in his local shopping centre public conveniences, going through the […]

Film critic fails to find Brexit sub-text|Humor

A British arts critic reviewing forthcoming movie releases has discovered that there is just one new film that he cannot claim is an artistic comment on Brexit and Britain’s place in the world. Peter Connelly of The Observer had effortlessly explained the context of Aardman’s ‘Early Man’ as a prehistoric Brexit parable, or the Churchill epic ‘Darkest […]

Henry Bolton’s wife; ‘I told you so’ face enters its second month|Humor

UKIP’s national executive has backed a vote of no confidence by Mr Bolton’s three wives and numerous au pairs. Political commentators are saying it is a rejection of the UKIP leader’s ‘one wife in, one wife out’ policy and his controversial ‘whites-only’ lingerie speech. A fervent believer in martial independence, Mr. Bolton has been a […]

The deal of the art|Humor

Following the news that Britain is to part with £44 million to beef up Channel border security in return for a loan of the Bayeux Tapestry, a number of other similar measures are expected to be unveiled. The UK has asked for a fortnight lend of the Mona Lisa in return for helping France with a several billion […]

Boris announces 195 post-Brexit bridge deals|Humor

Post Brexit trade deals will be accompanied by a series of bridges linking the UK with every country in the world, confirmed Boris Johnson today. 195 new structures will be built over the next millennium, all emanating from a purpose built hub in Ebbsfleet, which has already been dubbed Boris Central and a Bridge Too […]

Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)|Humor

Diet of the Millennium? Unethical Veganism Overtakes Paleo (and Gluten-Free)|Humor

Many consider Bill Clinton the unofficial spokesperson of the unethical vegan movement. Decades following the publication of Australian philosopher Peter Singer’s landmark treatise Animal Liberation, which prompted dozens (some say even hundreds) of morally-conscious Americans to adopt a vegan lifestyle for ethical reasons, experts have reported a marked upsurge in a radical new trend known […]

Mutants at X-Men School Welcome the Rocket Man And the Orange Man.|Humor

Mutants at X-Men School Welcome the Rocket Man And the Orange Man.|Humor

After many years of pretending to be something they’re not, the Rocket Man and the Orange Man have finally found their way home. They were welcomed by Dr.Charles Xavier, the school Headmaster. For those of you who don’t know him, he is a top-notch mental mutant. He agreed to meet us and answer few questions. […]

Carillion used May’s ‘strong and stable’ cement mix|Humor

Construction giant Carillion’s demise is being attributed to it having taken building advice from Theresa May – a leader with all the durability of aluminum siding. Unbeknownst to Carillion, the Prime Minister lacked the basic skillset to put up a set of shelves, let alone assemble a lasting Cabinet. The ‘strong and stable’ economic foundation […]

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