Love Island beckons for Macron & May|Humor

Prime Minister May is to hold ‘intimate talks’ with French President Emmanuel Macron, while being forced to choose between love, economic union or a Brexit dividend of at least £50,000. Subsequently the delectable duo will test their physical and mental ability – which does not bode well for Mrs May. The private villa will be […]

Experts Confirm Kim Jung Un Once Adorable Asian Baby|Humor

Experts Confirm Kim Jung Un Once Adorable Asian Baby|Humor

Earlier this morning, White House officials addressed the nation in a press conference and confirmed that Kim Jung Un, leader of the most tyrannical government in the world, was once an adorable Asian baby. The shocking evidence disproves the commonly held belief that the dictator had emerged from the pits of Isengard under the command […]

Met Office issues amber warning for normal weather|Humor

With Britain’s recent heatwave now nothing but a dim and distant memory of some twelve hours ago, The Met Office has urged everyone to be extremely careful now that temperatures and conditions have reverted to the more normal Summer state of ‘cool and changeable’. A spokesman said:  ‘We really need to be extra vigilant as […]

Local Man Builds House Out of Guns|Humor

Local Man Builds House Out of Guns|Humor

This is great for stirring iced tea. A local gun collector has so many guns that he has decided to build a house out of them. That's right, Dan Felcher, from the local township in Texas is constructing what is believed to be only the third house on his block made out of guns. "You […]

Man Produced Fart That Lasted About 25 Seconds|Humor

Man Produced Fart That Lasted About 25 Seconds|Humor

20 – 21 – 22 – 23 A teacher has told of how an enormous build-up of air in his intestine led to him releasing a fart that lasted about 25 seconds. Moys Kenwood, 55, had been sitting at a computer, planning a lesson for about one hour, when he felt that he needed to […]

Ivanka Trump Will Start Selling Designer Cages for Border Kids|Humor

Ivanka Trump Will Start Selling Designer Cages for Border Kids|Humor

"The Deluxe Bernie Madoff style is popular" said Ivanka. Trump Tower, NY Trump's daughter, Ivanka, who recently shuttered her clothing line because she was "too busy" (all the stores stopped selling it), announced that she will start the Ivanka Trump Designer Cage Co. "We just thought it was an idea whose time had come," spoke […]

Trump Revokes Pilgrim Fathers' Citizenship|Humor

Trump Revokes Pilgrim Fathers' Citizenship|Humor

Nothing to add In an entirely unexpected executive order today, US President and so-called leader of the free world, Donald J. Trump revoked the US citizenship and confiscated passports from the Pilgrim Fathers and their descendants, thus rendering them stateless. In one of his early morning rants on Twitter the Trump chump justified the decision […]

Fury as Ryanair hires Biggles to ‘scab’ during pilots’ strike|Humor

In a bid to alleviate the current industrial action by its pilots, Irish budget airline and all-round slaughterhouse wagon Ryanair has announced that it has employed legendary air ace, James ‘Biggles’ Bigglesworth to fly its Costa del Sol route. CEO Michael O’Leary told Flight International Magazine: ‘I’m delighted to have signed Biggles. He’s a damn […]

Birdie Song Set To Invade Your Brain Again|Humor

Birdie Song Set To Invade Your Brain Again|Humor

Quack! Quack! Quack! Quack! It was the soundtrack to 1981, the backdrop to an entire summer of crazy 'wing-flapping' on the dancefloor, and probably the worst record you ever heard, but the Birdie Song by The Tweets is up for re-release next month. Originally written in the 1950s by Werner Thomas, an accordion player from […]

Rees-Mogg ready to face world after total makeover|Humor

Conservative curiosity Jacob Rees-Mogg is reported to be ready to face the word under his new identity of Jake ‘The Geezer’ Moggster, after spending a week at an exclusive boot camp in an attempt to reinvent himself as a right tough-nut. The move comes as a prelude to making an attempt at grabbing the party […]