Brexit Trousers – by Madness|Humor

Wealthy boys from public schools Leavers breaking all the rules Turning red and being fools Acting like a bunch of tools All the ministers in the bars Whizzing round in posh black cars Trying not to think of when The Brexit Bill comes up again Oh what fun they had When Brexit went and turned […]

Angry viewers slam Sky Sports over its Open Golf coverage|Humor

Satellite broadcaster, Sky, has come under fire today from angry viewers incandescent with rage over its coverage of this year’s Open golf championship. One subscriber called a radio phone-in show, on nutters’ favourite network, LBC, to complain. Richard Black, a xenophobic bigot from Canvey Island told Nick Ferrari: ‘I have become accustomed to Sky’s coverage […]

Tory ‘pairing’ system fails to match socks|Humor

Not happy with just tricking MP’s on maternity leave into missing crucial votes, Conservative Whips have instructed Members to undermine all pairings by throwing out one shoe, removing one sock and ‘f$ cking up all kitkats’. Henceforth no pairing will be honoured, which could spell disaster for fish n’ chips, Ant n’ Dec and A […]

Lib Dems in favour of proportional not voting|Humor

By forgetting to vote against hard Brexit amendments, Vince Cable has signalled his party’s intention to stay in the EU – provided it does not require any particular effort.  Mr. Cable said he would do everything in his power to stop Brexit, unless that meant actually stopping Brexit, then no. With elaborate games of double […]

Trump leaves Britain a scathing Trip Advisor review|Humor

Donald Trump has only given the UK one star on his Trip Advisor review of his recent visit. He criticised many aspects of this trip, including the food. “When I booked I had expected bed and Brexit,” Trump wrote. “I had wanted a Full English Brexit, but was disappointed to find that the landlady had […]

TV Set Killed Man|Humor

TV Set Killed Man|Humor

A TV set Police in Fort Lauderdale say the death of a man in his seventies was caused by his TV set, and have charged the appliance with homicide. The man, Gordon Binfield, 74, had lived alone since his wife died in 1983, and, having few friends, rarely left the house. One friend he did […]

Google finish mapping Earth after UK becomes visible from space|Humor

Google’s attempt to map the surface of the Earth for smartphone users to access half a dozen times then ignore, is near to completion. The project has been largely successful except for mapping the United Kingdom, which until six weeks ago was cocooned like a mind-mashed student under a double duvet of concrete cloud. Thanks […]

Couple in critical condition after being exposed to ‘pure Brexit’|Humor

A man and woman found unconscious in Wiltshire may have come into contact with, what chemists are describing as a compound made from ‘Voldemort’s nose, Freddy Krueger’s finger nails and Nigel Farage’s bile duct’. The noxious substance is so deadly that it could destroy all life as we know it, or for the residents of […]

Max Verstappen Headbutts Mum|Humor

Max Verstappen Headbutts Mum|Humor

Moody bloody kids! Dutch Formula One racing driver Max Verstappen, who has been the recent target of much intense criticism over his driving style, has reacted angrily by planting a headbutt on his mum. Verstappen, 20, was preparing for the Canadian Grand Prix at the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve last week, and was asked why he […]

Jeremy Hunt leaves Mongolian ambassador waiting on trolley in corridor|Humor

There are signs Jeremy Hunt is bringing to bear his unique approach, honed during his years as Minister for Health, in his new position as Foreign Secretary. His Excellency Mr Bayar Sanjaa, Mongolia’s Ambassador to the Court of St James, was pleased to be invited to meet Britain’s new Foreign Secretary. “I went to his […]