Shakespeare Experiment Comes Off Rails At Eleventh Hour|Humor

Shakespeare Experiment Comes Off Rails At Eleventh Hour|Humor

"Not of an ape, but for all time" – '3793 Ben Jonson' An experiment involving more than 100,000 monkeys in different locations around the world, to investigate whether, if left alone with a typewriter for long enough, one of them might come up with the entire works of William Shakespeare, was back to 'square one' […]

Neighbours “betrayed” as gay couple found out to be just friends|Humor

In a leafy suburb of South London there was disappointment and anger after two men in their late thirties, who had been living together for over a year, were discovered to be just friends. ‘I assumed they were a nice gay couple,’ one dismayed neighbour said. ‘I used to casually mention they lived above me […]

Heathrow expansion to include Sudetenland|Humor

As MPs debate the merits of a ‘Third Runway and Reich’, many are worried about the environmental impact, the promise of ‘budget holidays in our time’ and the annexation of parts of Surrey. Neither has the sinister spread of Heathrow been helped by the sight of brown-shirted flight attendants and proposed bombing raids to Magaluf. […]

Meet Google's discontinued nineties AI project Big Brain Brad|Humor

Meet Google's discontinued nineties AI project Big Brain Brad|Humor

Many have heard of DeepMind, the British artificial intelligence company Google acquired in 2014. The DeepMind technology made headlines when after only a few hours of exposure to the ancient chinese board game Go, it not only learned to play the game, but became the finest player in the world. However, few can recall DeepMind’s […]

Britain to opt out of reality instead of EU|Humor

After two years of debate, the government has decided on Realixit as an “easier and smoother” alternative to Brexit. A courier company was seen unloading the biggest consignment of psychedelic drugs ever seen in Westminster today, which a government spokesman says should ensure “a total withdrawal from reality, once the effects start to kick in […]

Longest Day Over|Humor

Longest Day Over|Humor

Is it trying to tell us something? Probably not The longest day – the day when there is more daylight than any other day in the year – is over! The longest day always falls between 20 and 22 June, and this year it is on Thursday 21 June. However, as this story has probably […]

BBC searching for lost Dimblebys|Humor

The BBC has begun a global search for rumoured Dimbleby siblings deemed ‘lost’, in a bid to replace David Dimbleby, who announced his stepping down from the weekly Question Time panel show this week. It is thought that many Dimblebys may exist in the wild, products of liaisons between legendary war correspondent Richard Dimbleby and […]

‘I will quit UK’ vows furious meerkat Orlov|Humor

Following on from recent events when Russian billionaire oligarch, Roman Abramovich, was refused renewal of his investment visa, once again the Foreign Office has targeted another high profile Russian and meted out the same treatment. Meerkat, Aleksandr Orlov, was refused entry at Gatwick Airport this afternoon, when along with his ‘colleague’ Sergei, they were both […]

Trump hoping to train a new generation of cage fighters|Humor

The President’s controversial policy of separating migrant children from their parents and keeping them in cages, has been fully supported by the mixed martial-arts fraternity and the makers of galvanised chain-link fencing. The hope is that these children will grow up with the requisite skills of a cage fighter; that of harnessing repressed rage, skimpy […]

Trump’s hair files for divorce after years of separation|Humor

[unable in to collect full-text content] NewsBiscuit is a news aggregator and opinions blog. We aim to showcase news from various Alternative News Outlets to expand the reach away from MainStream Media polarizing tactics. This site is owned and operated by Underlab Media Productions, Inc. Digger, Dozer, Dumper Hope Vestergaard (Author), David Slonim […]