Parents prepare to tell kids Toys ‘R’ Us doesn’t exist|Humor

Parents prepare to tell kids Toys ‘R’ Us doesn’t exist|Humor

Millions of parents are set to face an awkward conversation this Christmas as they reveal to their kids that the retail giant Toys ‘R’ Us is not real. Though its full origins are shrouded in mystery, it is thought the toy conglomerate as we know it today derived from stories of Saint Geoffrey, a fourth […]

Ten Ways to Make Yourself More Efficient at Work|Humor

Ten Ways to Make Yourself More Efficient at Work|Humor

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With the job market becoming increasingly competitive, being a good employee that works hard and works efficiently is more important than ever. Companies are always looking to reduce waste and get as much out of employees as legally possible so replacing below average, or even average employees with super-efficient robots is […]

Washington dog pound mutts breath sighs of relief after Trump snub

Washington dog pound mutts breath sighs of relief after Trump snub

Following the decision by President Trump not to have a pet in the Whitehouse, Washington’s stray dog community has breathed a collective sigh of relief. None more so than two terrified Washington dog pound residents, Coco the Mexican Chihuahua and Abdul the Afghan hound. Both have now come out of hiding, and have taken their […]

Trump Refuses to Admit He Forgot Combination

Trump Refuses to Admit He Forgot Combination

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has forgotten the code to his briefcase but refuses to admit it to White House staff members. “I know the combination. I know all the combinations to everything. I am the best at remembering combinations. Everyone thinks so,” said Trump. “There is absolutely nothing going on here, it’s all […]

‘One-way ticket for homeless’ – just Southern Rail’s usual service

‘One-way ticket for homeless’ – just Southern Rail’s usual service

A number of councils in England are regularly buying ‘rough sleepers’ one-way train tickets, or ‘return tickets’ as Southern call them. The controversial policy of putting homeless on trains has been seen as a natural extension of the previous policy of giving tickets to the helpless, hopeless and the average Southern commuter – the reckless. […]

Man who declared knife “fake weapon” shocked that it could still stab him.

Man who declared knife “fake weapon” shocked that it could still stab him.

Following in the now popular trend of calling things you don’t like “fake” to discredit them, Seattle Convenient Store Clerk, Fred Nunchenhausen declared the knife of a would be robber fake during an armed robbery. Although, Mr. Nunchenhausen was able to prevent the robbery, he was stabbed in the process. “I’m not sure went wrong,” […]

Donald Trump Is Not A Bimbo

Donald Trump Is Not A Bimbo

Just because he can’t call an American Nazi a terrorist, or a white supremest a terrorist, the World International Society of Psychiatry and Stability, announced that they do not believe that Donald Trump’s bone spurs, (the same bone spurs that secured five deferments during Viet Nam) migrated to his brain. Professionally in the know, the […]

Exam Board to set new GCSE in cramming for exams

Teachers’ unions reacted with dismay today as the Midland Examining Group announced that, for GCSE courses starting from September 2018, it will begin offering a new qualification in ‘Test theory and Examination technique’ with the first exams to be set in summer 2020. ‘We see this as the culmination of a drive by successive governments […]

Hurricane Ophelia to be trialled in Scotland

Tropical cyclone Hurricane Orphelia is to be trialled in Scotland as a preparation for possible rollout across the UK, the Government has announced. A Government minister told us: ‘If we look at the previous ‘no hurricanes’ system, the wealthier in society were forced to take the brunt of the winds via damage to their yachts, […]

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