Graham Brady, chair of the Conservative 1922 Committee, is the only human being who really knows the unique blend of 11 herbs and spices that coats the chicken drumsticks in KFC, it has been revealed today.

The news comes as Tory MP after Tory MP insisted that Brady has a total monopoly over information about who has written a letter signalling no confidence in the prime-minister, despite many such letters being widely available to all and sundry via news channels and social media.

‘The only person who really knows how many letters have been written is Graham Brady’, parrotted numerous Tory MPs today, imbuing a safe in Brady’s office where the letters of no confidence are kept with an importance on a par with the Egyptian pyramids as a means of understanding human civilisation.

Brady’s Altringham and Sale West constituency office is also thought to contain documents which reveal the identify of the killer of JFK on the grassy knoll, the formula of Coca Cola syrup, whether Tony Soprano actually died in the final episode of the popular TV series, and the precise location of the G-spot within the vagina.

Brady was unavailable for comment today, and was said to be busy investigating evidence that had been brought to his attention about a territory believed to be as large as Libya and Asia combined and gold worth the weight of all of Greece, which is thought to have perished under water in the Atlantic ocean after being punished by Poseidon, the God of water and earth.

Let’s block ads! (Why?)