DACA Dogs Howl when they Smell Spices
Queens, NY – JFK Airport is the first major airport to sniff out illegal aliens. As travelers entering the United States wait to retrieve their luggage, ICE enforcement agents use canines to determine which travelers are illegal immigrants. The program follows a successful program in which canines sniff out drugs.
Fondly called “DACA dogs” by enforcement officials, the dogs have the ability to separate “dreamers”, who have “temporary” legal status, from their parents and grandparents, who arrived in the United States illegally.
“Our dogs are trained to sniff out certain spices used in specialty dishes in undesirable countries,” stated an unnamed source involved in the program. “If one of our dogs smells the spice, we have reasonable grounds to ask the traveler for his or her citizenship status. We have already sent back mothers without their babies and grandparents in wheelchairs. It’s a successful tool for us.”
Thus far, DACA dogs are trained to sniff out spices used in the Middle East, such as Sumac, Cumin, Caraway, Cardamom, Nutmeg, Za’atar and Tumeric. Garlic and onion spices and other similar spices used in a Mediterranean diet have been specifically exempted from the program.
No member of the GOP leadership was willing to comment on the controversial new program.
The program was first conceived by President Donald Trump. The President tweeted: “Our dogs are working for real Americans sniffing out the illegals. New spices added to the menu daily, including Mexican Oregano, Coriander and Chili Powder. Nail them!”
For more information about this new program, contact firstname.lastname@example.org
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