GOLDEN, CO – The Hernandez family dog, Peppers, was unimpressed with its Christmas present this year, angering the family.
“How ungrateful? How disrespectful? No respect for us and no respect for Christmas! What would Jesus say?” said Alfredo Hernandez. “We give that dog everything and it just takes us for granted. And then one Christmas it can’t even express a simple thank you or return the sentiment and get the family presents. Fuck that dog. No, I mean it. Fuck that dog.”
Peppers, a bulldog, was given a stuffed, squeaking toy that resembled a raccoon as a present. After the family opened the gift and presented it to Peppers the dog turned around and went back to its bed.
“It’s like he didn’t even care. He didn’t even care that we got him a present,” said Rachel Hernandez. “He came over, looked at the toy then just went back and laid down. The children cried for hours because the dog didn’t like its present. What kind of sadistic asshole just completely ignores a token of appreciation? We give (Peppers) everything. EVERYTHING! And this is how that ungrateful piece of shit responds. If he wasn’t already neutered, I’d cut his balls off myself.”
The Hernandez children were particularly frustrated with Pepper’s response to the gift as they had picked out the present.
“We spent forever at Petsmart looking for toys for Peppers. I just wish Peppers loved us as much as we love Peppers,” said Kristina Hernandez. “My brother wanted to get Peppers a squirrel toy but then we saw the raccoon thing and it was so cute so we got it and then Peppers didn’t even want it. Why does Peppers hate us?”
According to Ken Hernandez, this isn’t the first time the dog has shown little interest in gifts from the family.
“Last year, for his birthday we all chipped in and gave him a new collar,” Rachel Hernandez said. “He sniffed at it for a minute and then turned around. That little shit showed me his asshole to let me know what he thought of it. At the time we thought it was just that he wasn’t a fan of the Colorado Rockies, but now… Now I think it’s just that he’s an ungrateful piece of shit.”
When asked for comment, Peppers stared blankly then closed its eyes for a nap.