There were denials and counter-denials aplenty today, as Ghislaine Maxwell, the former girlfriend of sex pest, Jeffrey Epstein, crept out from under a stone to face an investigation into her own role in the shenanigans.

In the last few days, President Donald Trump’s name has been connected with Ms. Maxwell, but he claims never to have met her.

She claims never to have met him, and has never even heard of him.

Maxwell also claims never to have met Prince Andrew, the disgraced royal, who has only a tenuous link with reality.

For his part, Prince Andrew claims never to have met Maxwell, although this is not unusual, as he has invariably forgotten anybody he has ever met within two minutes of having dismissed them from his presence.

At one point, under great stress, the Prince even denied having ever met the Queen, his own mother, but later retracted this after a glass of water and a lie down.

As well as all of these denials, Ms. Maxwell denied that she had ever lived in London, that she regularly held parties attended by lots of underage girls at the London home she didn’t have, and that she was the girlfriend of Jeffrey Epstein.

Jeffrey Epstein was unavailable for comment, having been murdered by prison guards, although this has been denied.

It’s even been denied that the story you are reading was ever written.

Certainly, by me, anyway.

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