Henry Bolton’s wife; ‘I told you so’ face enters its second month|Humor

UKIP’s national executive has backed a vote of no confidence by Mr Bolton’s three wives and numerous au pairs. Political commentators are saying it is a rejection of the UKIP leader’s ‘one wife in, one wife out’ policy and his controversial ‘whites-only’ lingerie speech.

A fervent believer in martial independence, Mr. Bolton has been a long term advocate of closed borders and open relationships. Which has forced UKIP’s deputy leader, Margot Parker, to resign, before he could hit on her.

Naturally Mr Bolton’s wives – old, new and future – expressed their lack of surprise that he continues to put the swinging back into swing voting. But Mr. Bolton insists that any move to unseat him would ‘finish the party’ – although his idea of a party seems to involve a toga, a safe-word and vibrating egg, shaped like Hugh Hefner.

Mr. Bolton has had to disavow his glamour-model’s racist twitter feed; but in his defense, at the age of 25, no one thought he was dating Jo Marney for her mind. One member said: ‘UKIP needs a leader with an uncompromising view on immigration but with zero chance of running off with someone half their age. I wonder if Jo Marney is available?’

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