Controversial MP Jacob Rees-Mogg has demanded his staff use wording that makes him feel more at home, after falling through a time vortex from the Victorian era and finding himself in 2019.

Some of these include:

Pretty girls to be called “Crumpets” or “Bit o’ Raspberry”

Poor people to be called “Vagrants” or “Beggars”

Children to be called “Shoe Shiners” or “Chimney Sweeps”

People that use food banks to be called “Thieves”

Rees-Mogg says this is only temporary until he finds a way to return back to his own time.

Some people say his strange behaviour and views are the result of him having too much mercury in his top hat.

As a country we all wish him a speedy return back before he brings his “alternative” views and spreads it like the plague that he unfortunately survived in his own time.

                                                                                                                                                              Laine Slater

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