Local Bag Boy is a Total Rebel, Doesn’t Care about Anything|Humor

BOISE, ID – A bag boy at a local Fred Myers grocery store stated that he is a “rebel” and he doesn’t “care about nothing, especially work.”

“Yeah, I work here but I don’t do what (Fred Myers Management) tell me. I do what I want,” said bag boy Tad Trione “No one tells me what to do. I’m a rebel. I don’t care about anything, especially work.”

During a break from work Trione told his coworkers that he does not follow the rules and responsibilities outlined in his job description. Trione also said he occasionally breaks the law while on the clock.

“I don’t care about none of this stuff,” said Trione. “Like, I will go in the back and I’ll just sit there instead of going and getting carts out of the parking lot like I’m supposed to. I built, like, a throne thing out of Pepsi 12-packs in the back. I go back there and I sit there and I think about all the crazy shit I’m gonna get in to after work. And you know what, sometimes I’ll throw eggs against the wall in the back just to see them explode.”

Trione himself says that his job at Fred Myers is just cover for his real job as a pimp and drug dealer.

“This job is just a cover, you know?” said Trione. “My real job is out there on the streets. I sell all of the drugs. And I also am like a pimp and stuff. I had a gun pulled on me once because of all the trouble I get in to. It was cool though because I’m pretty much not scared of anything. I think I should get a gun though too because, you know, I got enemies out there. Like this one guy I said I would give him a bunch of coke but then I didn’t. He totally wants to kill me now. And then there’s all my bitches that I got out there. Sometimes, you know, they won’t do the customers right, so a gun would really help with that. So yeah, compared to that I don’t care about stacking all the milk crates in the back or bagging groceries the right way. In fact, sometime I’ll make bags really heavy, just because I can. I don’t even care.”

Several of Trione’s coworkers think of Trione as “cool” and “dangerous.”

“I’ve never known anyone that sells drugs before,” said Fred Myers bag girl, Taylor Brennan. “(Trione) said he was going to get a tattoo soon. That’s so cool. Some of the stuff he says reminds me of ‘Breaking Bad’ but that’s probably just because (Trinoe) knows about drugs and stuff and that show was about drugs. It does kinda suck that I have to do more of the job list because (Trione) just sits in the back but it’s ok. He said I was pretty cool so… that’s cool. And one time he liked one of my instgrams. He’s so cool.”

Fred Myers management is unaware of any conduct by Trione that may be considered illegal or even a performance issue.

“(Trione’s) last performance review was pretty good,” said Fred Myers Manager, Stacy Krimlist. “It says here that he is always respectful to customers and to the other managers. I guess his mom works at a Fred Myers on the other side of town so he is a legacy. It’s good to see kids doing good, honest work these days. Because, you know, MS-14 and stuff.”

Although Trione said he has a girlfriend in Portland, OR, The Scoop News was unable to contact or locate anyone with the name “Hayley Johnson” who admitted to knowing Trione.

The Scoop News

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