A big proponent of energy conservation, Leon Mills of Nashville, Tennessee, prefers not to pick low-hanging fruit but instead to wait for it to fall to the ground.

“It’s riper that way, too,” said Mills, who noted that biting into a less-than-ripe peach is like gnawing on a raw potato. “And no straining needed. Just bend down and scoop ’em up.”

Mills went on to explain that while he’s done his share of chasing good times and fast women, now, at the age of 76, he’s ready to slow down and enjoy the fruits of his “softer” labor.

“I’m not chasing anything anymore,” he said. “Except some apples here and there. And fortunately they never fall far from the tree.”

Mills went on to opine that efficiency-focused people really ought to shift their focus from the lower branches of trees to the next level: the earth itself.

“No sweat off my back, though,” he said. “More for me if they ignore what’s right in front of them.”

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