The ancestors of the original proprietors of North America, were quick to endorse the President’s sentiment and that immigrants should take their glass beads, pox blankets and worthless treaties with them. Representing less than 2% of the total modern population, Native Americans are perhaps right in thinking some Europeans have overstayed their welcome.

Native Americans have the highest poverty rates in the US, which is odd given that, once upon a time, they literally owned everything. Significant health disparities still exist between them and the rest of the country, although that has improved since the government stopped shooting them.

A spokeswoman for the remaining tribes said: ‘We’re not talking about African Americans, they didn’t get a choice in coming here. Likewise, we empathise with the economic migrants from Mexico. But these Europeans were only invited in for a turkey sandwich back in 1621 and they’ve been squatting ever since’.

One reporter asked: ‘Surely white man speak with forked tongue?’ – to which the Navajo spokeswoman replied: ‘Putting aside your culturally insensitive and racist trope, this is not a smoke signal, it’s just Trump blowing out of his arse’.

Wrenfoe (h/t Titus)

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