A zebra which ran amok on a German autobahn causing traffic chaos has been shot after satirists and dads failed to come up with a satisfactory way of describing the incident.

On seeing the incident unfold, a quick-thinking passer-by put in a call to a number of gag-writers before contacting the authorities, who quickly dispatched joke police to contain the situation. However, the actions of armed comedy animal handlers were hindered by crowds of motorists who had left their vehicles to take a better look, unable to ‘put their finger on’ just what they were seeing.

‘It just kind of traversed from one side to the other in a alternating fashion’, one amateur comedian told us. ‘I’m kicking myself trying to come up with words to summarise the chaos caused by the striped animal.’

‘Eventually, the beast was destroyed and nothing more was said. It was a miracle that no more animals were harmed since the incident inexplicably attracted the attention of some nearly farm poultry, though no one was sure what their objectives were.’

Comedy Police numbers have been stretched since the recent theft of several thousands of cans of Irish Stew from a nearby depot, though no arrests have yet been made.

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