Sightings continue to come in of elusive executive Dido ‘Goldfinger’ Harding. The latest reports come from the south of France, though she has also reportedly been sighted in the Caribbean, in an underground lair, a hollowed-out volcano and on a moonbase. She has not been recently spotted anywhere near government or a sense of accountability.

Ironically, Dido Harding is the UK’s leading manhunter – HMG gave her £12 billion to set up a ‘track & trace’ system to enable people who’ve been in contact with Covid-19 to be identified. The best hope we now have of seeing her again is if she develops the illness herself, when there is at least a 2% chance that her own app will locate her. Failing that we may need to wait for the £12 billion to run out and trap her with a giant bag of gold and a concealed net.

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