Following hot on the heels of a fake McDonalds, fake Apple store and a fake factory making imitation plastic, the latest audacious scam has been uncovered in Bejing.
World leaders were shocked to find that a completely fake bureaucracy has been running the place for years, headed by a corrupt gang leader, the self-styled President Xi Jinping.
Antonio Guterres, Secretary-general of the UN, said the discovery was absolutely outrageous. ‘It explains their crackpot policies over the past few years: vetoing everything at the UN, arresting everyone in Hong Kong and supporting the worlds most loathsome regimes. Not only that, we are led to understand the Chinese people haven’t been allowed to visit the ballot box for some considerable time.’
‘The UN will take affirmative action against these counterfeit politicians. We’ll start by not doing very much, to be honest, and then move onto phase two. This will include making idle threats about imposing ruinous tariffs on the import of Chinese shoelaces and tins of Dodo’s feet soup.’
Dominic Raab said that global Britain would happily continue trading with an insanely dubious counterfeit government. The vast trade in shoddy NOKE training shoes and iffy EPPLE watches outweighs any namby-pamby human rights considerations. ‘I’m aware that a lot of the goods we buy are hand made in Uighur camps, but as long as the counterfeit slave workers are up to scratch and their imported hip flasks are top-notch, I can’t, in all honesty, see a problem with it.’
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