Building and Environmental Control officers have called an immediate cessation of building work at Westminster Palace after a small cluster of Liberal Democrat MPs were discovered nestling within one of the offices.

Within the existing planning application, the culling of several colonies of bats from the Queens Tower and a herd of wild dormice in the cellars had already been approved; and the inspectors then turned a blind eye when builders hosed a group of crested newts straight out into the Thames next door.

However, when the plumbing team explored the attic offices to run new pipes to the header tank, they found a small group of orange rosetted figures huddled together fearfully, blinking as the sunlight reached their sanctuary.
Such was the extreme rarity of Lib Dem MPs in the Westminster environment they felt honour-bound to declare their discovery, even though they realised it would mean the shutdown of all works whilst their habitat was safeguarded.

The entire renovation project is now on hold until after the next General Election, at which stage everyone seems very confident they’ll be able to restart without any Lib Dem MPs being affected at all.

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