Shooting his latest series of Grand Designs, polished concrete fetishist Kevin McCloud has gushed like a dam burst of Care Bears at the contemporary styling of a major renovation project in central London, known unofficially as the Houses of Parliament

‘What they have done here is both inspiring and a stroke of genius,’ oozed McCloud. ‘It is a bold statement fit for the 21st century and represents a shift away from over-elaborate, faux 1834 stylisation. By choosing to replace everything with jauntily stacked shipping containers, what they’ve said here is that this is a utilitarian return to the true roots of Thameside urban commerce. It is industrial minimalism at its most deliciously stark,’ McCloud said.

‘By recladding the Big Ben clock tower in iconic Marlboro fag packet livery, they have shown an extraordinary level of consideration towards how the structure respects its surrounding environment. Evocative. And, dare I say it, erotic. In true Grand Designs tradition, the masterminds of this project moved into humble dwellings just off-site with, yes, another baby on the way. But will they be in by winter 2046?’

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