Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, was quick to accept responsibility for his team’s poor showing in their FA Cup 3rd-round tie against Wolverhampton Wanderers at Molineux yesterday, the match ending 0-0, with United failing to register a single effort on target.

The Norwegian said:

“The buck stops here, with me. I’m to blame. I forgot to take the strikers with us. We left them on the Old Trafford car park by mistake!”

According to eyewitnesses, the attacking trio of Marcus Rashford, Anthony Martial, and Mason Greenwood had gone across the road to get some sweets from a sweet shop, and Solskjaer, not realising this, had told the coach driver to:

“Head for Wolverhampington, with all speed!”

The driver, Albert Bobbins, a Manchester City fan, had done as he was bid, and smirked out of the corner of his mouth as the coach pulled onto the motorway.

Only then did it dawn on Solskjaer that his strike force were not on the bus.

“I had to re-think things a little bit,” he said. “But the thing is, I don’t think anyone noticed! We’ve been particularly awful for a while now, and this was just more of the same!”

Mithering could be heard all over the north-west last night.

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