‘If you strike me down, I will become more humble than you could ever imagine’.

‘These aren’t the presidential traits you are looking for’

Donald Trump is to spend billions on re-filming all of the Star Wars Films, and playing all of the roles. As well as his role of President, sliding the world ever closer to the abyss, and being the poster-boy for toxic masculinity he is set on re-creating one of the most beloved film franchises of all time.

He told us ‘Yes, it is so beautiful. It is going to be so good. So so good. These are good films, quality films. I will be Luke, Leia, Daryh Vader, good man, a quality man, and Jabba the Hutt….He can treat me so much about being a repulsive giant slug’.

This follows on the news that Teresa May is currently re-filming Reservoir Dogs.

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